Quite Roomy Really

I visit the Isle of Wight quite regularly due to a number of family members living there. One time when I was visiting, I was in a car with my Auntie Viki and enquired by way of idle conversation “What’s the population of the island?” My Aunt pondered this for a few minutes before saying “Well, it doesn’t feel too busy.” She made this pronouncement with all the gravitas of a professional statistician. Once I stopped giggling, I got to thinking how this approach to population numbers would work in practice. I imagined looking up various populations in an atlas and for Australia it saying ‘quite roomy really’ or for China ‘bit of a tight squeeze, bring your own sleeping bag’ or for Alaska ‘more space than you can shake a stick at.’ Sadly for Auntie Viki, I can’t see this approach taking off any time soon.

Feel the Force

I was in an all-women samba band for many years and during that time we went to perform at a festival in Amsterdam.  After our first day of performing we went out for a bit of drinkin and dancin, as you do.  A fine time was had by all.  After we’d been out partying for a while we decided to do the sensible thing and head back to our accommodation as we had to be up the following day for another performance.  We were straggling along in two’s and three’s  and I was in the group bringing up the rear.  Just as the first group were  about to cross the final road before reaching our accommodation, a particular noise came from a bar to the left of us.  Without turning to consult each other, discuss the pros and cons of such a decision, I saw the heads of each of those women suddenly turn toward that bar and move with one accord as though they were being pulled by an invisible magnetic force.  I think some of them may have had their hands raised skyward in a gesture of worship and reverence.  And we did go into that bar and we did more dancin and drinkin until the wee small hours and many of us did pay for it heavily the next day.  And the name of that irresistible magnetic force?  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you one word; Abba.